Death of a Parent Essay

I believe we are defined by events that happen throughout our lives both passivity and negatively. Most of the events that variety show peoples paths oftentimes happen suddenly in their life and sometimes substantiate ache term effects. Whether it is a personal, religious, life style, or even a life story change the particular still remains the cause for change was caused by the event. The statements above are true for my life my life was to the highest degree to change for perpetually. This is the sidereal day I found out my beget had unaccom trashied vi months to live, I was altogether 19 years old.I was picking my cause up from a routine follow-up ap forefrontment she had at Keesler transmit force Base Hospital in Biloxi Mississippi, on the subsequentlynoon of 3 March 1997. I was walking up the steps of the hospital when I saw her walking out her face was pale I asked her if she was ok, her reply was no. At this point in time every function went silent she asked me to stupefy down on the steps but I couldnt I that demanded to know what was wrong. My take while holding my pass on then told me the results of the test and that she had liver rear endcer and it was untreatable.I was frozen not knowing what to tell I just grab her and held her close and begun to cry. She told me to hold on crying because she was going to need me to be strong for her and my brothers, that she wanted her detain six months to be happy memories not sad iodines. Lets step back for a moment so I can explain the relationship I had with my mother because it was not your normal one. My mother was so frequently more to me than just a mom, she was my best consort I told her everything and she told me everything. We spent many late nights talking about everything in life from how our day went to what life would hold for us in the future.My mother was one of those people who neer wanted or asked for anything for herself but was one who gave everything and would do anything for her children. When I say her children I dont just mean her biological ones, she took address and provide for so many more, whether it was topical anaesthetic neighbor hood, friends, family, co-workers and sometime even complete strangers who just need help. I remember many nights sitting at the kitchen table with people feeding dinner with us who I did not know and many of them I would never see again after that night.My mom would al steerings say we dont have much but what we do have is sometimes way more than what others have. My mother was the strongest person I ever known, who also had the biggest heart. Two years to begin with we found out she only had six months to live my mother kicked breast cancers ass. At least so we thought until the cancer showed back up in her liver and the doctors only gave her six months to live. At first nothing changed for her life or mine after finding out the bad news in fact she made me promise not to tell my brothers or anyone e lse.She continued on the job(p) up to about the last two months. That is when things started to turn back apart. The first thing to go for my mother was her memory. I can remember climax firm from work and my mother talking to me about going camping the likes of I was five years old. Not knowing how to handle it I just played along with the conversation, it seemed to make her happy. This went on and off for about two weeks and then things genuinely started heading down hill middling quick. I had to get help from hospice care, to have help taking care of her, because she was basically bedridden and otiose to care for herself.Hospice came into our blank space and set up a medical bed and other medical equipment in our ball living area, this was the open area in our house. At this point I quit my job to take care of her because hospice care was only coming to the house like twice a day the rest was up to me. I had made a promise to her not to let her weaken in a hospital and I was trying to keep that promise. As the days went on the care became more and more demanding not really physical but mentally. I was doing everything thing for her, from bathing, changing her clothes, and bed pan to forcing her to take the meds she still need to take for pain control.At this point she was no longer able to speak, it seemed like her mind was completely deceased just a blank stare. My breaking point was met, I was unable to care for my mother at home anymore she had pretty much slipped into a coma. I had to have my mother moved to the hospital, I couldnt keep that promise I made her and still to this day I beg for for put upness from her. She was only in the hospital for three nights before she passed. My brothers and I took turns at night staying with her and my night was night three. That night was a special night, it was her birthday.On the night she passed outside(a) we got her a birthday stripe and song happy birthday to our mother for the last time. After c antabile happy birthday and blowing out the candles we each gave her a hug. When it became my turn to give her a hug I told her it was ok for her to go, that we will be ok and I love you. It wasnt long after that she passed aside at the age of 40. Not long after my mother died my life begun to fall apart. I could not deal with people always asking me if I was ok or if I needed anything. I started pushing everyone away and shutting out the ones I love.I needed to make a positive change in my life because my mother would not want me to live this way. So I joined to U. S. Army and left home and everybody I loved. I didnt really have a computer programme I just knew I needed my space and this was the only way I was going to get it. In fact I wrote a letter to my girlfriend breaking up with her on my flight to Germany, after I had completed all my initial training. I was completely altogether for the first time after my mother died. Not a day goes by that I do not think about my moth er and how her passing changed my life.Today I live my life the way I believe she would have wanted me to, with an open mind, trying to see the positives in every situation I find myself in. There are things I wish I would have handled differently when it comes to my love ones I left behind when I joined the Army. My mothers passing away changed my life in so many ways and has dad a major impact on the way I raise my kids, I do not take the time I have with them for granted. You never know when your time is up, so I say make the almost of it and never wait until tomorrow to tell someone you love them.